Sunday, June 17, 2007


How many times do normal people move within a ten year period? Not military people, just normal people my age. Today, ladies and gentleman, at the Dantzler circus I shall attempt to count the number of times and places I've have moved since I left home 10 years ago.

1. (1996) To Skidmore. Howe Rounds- moved in with Michelle in our palacial freshman dorm room.
***I won't count moving back home for the summer. We'll be here all day.****

2. (1997) To my sophmore year dorm-the Tower! What a great move that was. So happy because there was an elevator, and because I was an LS1 tutor I didn't have to move to Moore downtown. What a lucky girl I was.

3. (1998) To Paris! that was a heck of a move, and I remember that I didn't pack until the night before. Ah, to be young again.

4. (1998) To my Junior year dorm. Palamountain? what the heck was the name of that place? Ashley, you lived there. Do you remember?

5. (1999) To the Cabaret Troupe house

6. (1999) Back to Palamountain the next day. I was a big chicken. Ash- yet again, saving the day by helping me move there and back again... ha ha

7. (1999) To Brooklyn for the summer. Spent some time at the twin towers, since that's where Scott (who I was helping move and get organized etc.) worked. I remember looking up until I got dizzy cause I couldn't see the top. I get dizzy in general. Life is overwhelming.

8. (1999) To our senior year apartment. That was such a great place. A carriage house in good old Saratoga Springs. I left my foil ball in the loft of that place. It disappeared between when I left and when Ashley moved in the next fall. I can't imagine that it went to such a lofty place as the previous foil ball which, when it disappeared from my childhood home one day showed up at the Easter pageant as the rock in front of Jesus' tomb.

9. (2000) To Rochester! with Amy. I had no furniture and drove everything I had across the state in my 87 Civic hatchback. (a.k.a. Adobe the Clay Car).

10. (2002) Upstairs in Rochester! This was my first (and only) apartment all by myself (but upstairs from Ali and Kevin). The people who were there over the summer left all sorts of wonderful surprises, including several large tomato plants.

11. (2002, 03, 04, 05) to Ohio Light Opera. I'll only count this once, since usually I had an apartment that I maintained during the summer... usually....

12. (2004) to NYC. I remember driving the truck away from Rochester and crying and crying. You see, this is a year after Drake entered the picture and ruined all of my wonderful plans of living in NYC with Ashley forever. I was still psyched about moving, but it got so complicated! Falling in love with a southern boy would prove to expand this list almost exponentially. I think it may have ended here if it weren't for him. At least until Ashley kicked me out ;)

13. (2004) Moving Drake out. I include this because it was such a horrible freak show, and hands down remains the worst moving experience of my life. We were both in Ohio (which I will only count once, even though I was there 4 times) he couldn't get away to move so I, being the lovely girlfriend that I was volunteered to do it for him. When I arrived, I found that his subletter was using his framed Rigoletto reprint to prop up the window, in addition to having strewn leg wax and kitty litter all over the 20 square feet that was his studio apartment. I will go no further with this story. This is one of the *very* few instances in my life where I became physically angry. I called this girl, found her parents numbers and called them, then called everyone on every bill that she left in the house until I tracked her down. I said relatively nasty things.

14. (2004) To Shreveport. I drove from NYC to Shreveport, stopping only in Memphis to see Graceland. I ended up on a tour group with about 25 Japanese ladies. I think that might be the only way to see Graceland....
When I got out of the car in Shreveport, I literally cried. The air was so hot and heavy that I cried.

15. (2005) To Austin. After another summer in Ohio, I moved in with Drake to finish my DMA at UT. We lived on Jollyville Road, which still cracks me up. Doesn't it make it seem like we're in Santa Land or something? The apartment was great, but snug for 2 and we got married and decided to move in to a new place that was "ours"...

16. (2006) Down the street. This has been a great place, we live on the Greenbelt, so often there several deer outside our patio in the morning. We really enjoyed living here in the fall right after we got married, but Drake got the job in Iowa and it hasn't been a whole lot of fun being here by myself. It's supposed to be "our" house! so I'm packing up and leaving a little early- moving everything into storage until we figure out what comes next.

17. (2007) ????

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Faster Faster KILL KILL KILL!!

While Ms. Amy was in town visiting, we decided to do some distinctly "Austin" things. We ate lots of Mexican food and we ate lots of BBQ and we went and saw the Texas Roller Girls Roller Derby!!! it was sweet! I think that if I hadn't already knocked out my front tooth once, I would TOTALLY want to try it out. Just FYI-- I would be "trying it out" in an amateur league. These girls are all-pro, and I definitely could not hang.

At this particular roller derby, Austin's "Hell Mary's" were battling Dallas' "Assasination City Special Ops." The Hell Mary's won, but they only played one half of the derby because of a power outage.

Rollerderbies are fun and dangerous. This is on a flat track, people. Which means that when these girls body check each other, one could come flying right into your lap. We sat in the back row because Amy's friend Wendy is pregnant, and we didn't want a rollergirl to accidentally crush her unborn son. There were lots of children there! I think I would have loved this as a child. Though I think I would have been scared when the crowd shouted "Faster Faster Kill Kill Kill."

Everyone in front of us were Special Ops fans and were wearing shirts that said "Don't thump our muff." After some research in the program, I deduced that they were supporting Muff-Thumper (they all have names like this--like cracked-out Bond girls). The t-shirts referred to a website-- I thought I'd check it out later--I knew that I'd remember it since her name was Michelle. Like my roomate!
This girl can skate!
She was wrongfully arrested for public intoxication when handing out fliers for their rollerderby and was a victim of horrible police brutality. This is a very upsetting story, and I hope you check it out. There are some links at the bottom of the page where you can send complaints and help her case.

You cannot get away

I never really was one for "school spirit" in the traditional sense. Those faithful readers who attended Worcester Academy with me--you know what I'm talking about. We had mandatory pep-rallies. It was hard to get behind teams made up of relative strangers. Because we were a prep school, we offered a post-graduate year. These basically consisted of really good athletes who already graduated high-school, but who didn't get into their first choice college, or weren't recruited as well as they wanted to be, so they went to prep school to get into a better/more competitive college. This meant our teams were really good! But we didn't know anyone very well. I had school spirit--I loved WA, I'm still their biggest cheerleader AND I know our alma mater and fight song-- "Oskee-wow-wow." Hey. that's what you get when you go to an old-boys' school.

Skidmore, having been an all women's school was also not huge on athletics. A rich alumna endowed the school on the sole premise that when it went co-ed it would never have a football team or a Greek system. Our biggest most winning team was Equestrian. 'nuff said.

Eastman was also difficult to stand behind, athletically.

Texas, on the other hand.....
As many of you know and, even more shockingly, more of you probably don't know, a young man by the name of Vince Young (I LOVE YOU VINCE!) was the Quarterback for the Texas Longhorns the year that I elected to become one myself (a Longhorn, not a quarterback.) That great and shining year ('05) we won the National Championship, and I finally understood school spirit.

***Flashback!*** My first visit to Austin....

me: "Wow, there are a lot of cow faces everywhere."
drake: "You can't be serious. Those are called 'Longhorns'--only the single most
recognizable mascot in college football history."
me: "Well, I just thought they meant Texas."
drake: "They do. That's what the University is called."
me: "That's a little presumptuous, isn't it?"
drake: "This is Texas."

There were other exchanges that I won't organize in the "me: drake:" style. Like when I asked about why all the statues were giving the "hard rock" hand sign, and why the school song was "I've been working on the railroad."

These are things that come with "the cattle worship" (as my mother called it) of being a Longhorn because, after all:
(to the tune of I've Been Working on the Railroad)

The eyes of Texas are upon you,
all the live long day!
The eyes of Texas are upon you,
you cannot get away!
(and now it gets creepier.....)
Do not think you can escape them
At night or early in the morn!
The eyes of Texas are upon you
(This part is in bold, cause everyone yells it and goes crazy and there's an arm motion too (see below) not because it's creepy how Texas will be watching you until the end of time, even when you sleep.)

Into the abyss...

I've been MIA for a while now. Here's what I've been up to:

1. Graduating! I am officially a Doctor now. I have received two pieces of mail addressed to Dr. Alta Dantzler, and I have one new student who calls me Dr. Dantzler, even though I asked him not to. These Texans. They're so respectful.

2. Saying goodbye (and hello and goodbye) to my husband again.
This has been a very difficult year! Do most newlyweds spend more than half of the first year of the marriage apart? What is it about this profession that makes us say "Thank you sir, may I have another" when we are handed jobs that take us to the middle of nowhere to work for pennies? It is good work though. I now understand those people who through the course of our musical education offered the advice--"If there is anything else in the world that you could do that would make you feel happy and fulfilled you should do that instead." But I think that by this point, if there was anything else, I would be doing it by now.

3. Packing and selling off all of our non-essentials.
Drake packed up many things before we left, (including the grill, of course) and moved them into storage. I continue to do the same, and to list things on Craigslist and wait while "seriously interested" parties stand me up.

4. Preparing to jump into the Abyss...
I have never in my life been without "a plan". Having attained my Doctorate has left me in just such a fearful predicament. I've been encouraged to think about it as "exciting!" instead of "fearful."
My preparations have included:
  • eating pie
  • working out
  • eating pie
  • practicing! This is a new one! (oddly enough) I am SHOCKED that I have managed towork exercise into my daily routine, and not practicing. It is offensive.
  • reading hippy self-help-ish books like "The Secret" and actually believing in them. I am a powerful magnet and I attract things to myself. I shall draw all good things to me. These things will include: a sweet puppy, a job, a car with air-conditioning, and an opera role that is young and fabulous rather than old and frumpy (Carmen! glamour! Maddelena! sexy! Dalilah! drama!)
5. Teething
The final corner of my final wisdom tooth has finally pushed itself through! It must've gotten the memo that I have recently become a Doctor, and thereby am entirely wise....